Descriptive Writing

In Literacy we are focussing on writing a narrative using descriptive language. We are building our vocabulary and using examples from great authors as models for effective character descriptions.

Miss Trunchbull

Today we were inspired by Roald Dahl and his description of Miss ‘Trunchbull’ in the story of ‘Matilda.”

We are writing our own narratives so here is a sample of the descriptive language that we are using.

Hailey

A sweet young girl named Bec, lived in a small cottage with her parents, her naughty brother Tom and her cheeky sister Carmen. Bec had blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. She was the youngest in the family, aged only eight. Bec had a dream, a wild dream, to search in the windy dark forest that no one ever dared to enter.

Braden

Jake was very poor but an extraordinary traveller who was seeking the thrill of discovering gold. His patched and daggy jacket was his only possession. He was searching for gold to help to keep his family alive. His thin and scrawny arms were so weak that he could barely hold the heavy pickaxe. He could only mine for gold using small tools which didn’t really help him much. His long dangly legs were not much good inside the mine however they were useful when jumping over obstacles.

James

“Tom and Ben were great friends and even better they were actually twins. They loved surfing and dreamt about being the best surfers in the world. Tom and Ben also loved to watch TV. They enjoyed being crazy with their friends. Ben’s favourite sports were surfing and soccer. Tom’s were football and surfing. Tom was very tall with short brown hair. Tom was extremely muscular, however Ben on the other hand was very skinny and short. Ben had long black hair and a great sense of humour.”

Tuesdays – Literacy Shed is inspiring our Writing

The Flying Dog
One splendid day, a dog was walking to school, as a happy feeling came his way.
He started flying, he couldn’t stop, until he heard a little ‘pop!’
He looked at a cat chasing a little rat.
The dog chased the cat with all his might. He was just too far off to take a bite.
He realised he was chasing the cat, who was chasing a rat,
who was chasing a mouse that was chasing a louse,
which was chasing the hair on a bear.
They ran up and down the garden path, until the dog ran to his house for a bath.
The next day, the dog set off for school, as a grumpy feeling came his way.
His feet started stomping, his hands started punching,
His teeth began grinding and chomping.
Then half way to school the happy feeling came his way.
He started to fly and ignored the long line in the carpark.
Then home from school he ran 600 laps
before starting to polish his baseball caps.
by Mairead

Thoughts of a flying frog
“Hello there, you’re getting smaller. No I’m getting taller. I knew this lilypad would fly one day. Up, up and away like Buzz Lightyear. Birds, hopefully I can say hello. Woah! I just flipped upside down. Don’t fly away birds. Oh well I am still flying. What is the time? I can’t read and it’s getting cold. Any clothes? Yeah, I am superman. Just kidding. I wanna’ watch television. I dont like this channel, or this one. Let’s leave.”
Early the next day…
“Yawn. Good morning. Let’s go flying again. I love it when the sun comes up as it always keeps me warm. I wonder how much longer I will be able to flyyyyy…..ooof!
I think that answered my question. I am falling to the ground. I can’t fly anymore. Let’s hope that I can fly again next Tuesday.
Wait…what’s that? Flying pigs! They have my power and my fame.”
by Carley

Tuesday
I was at home last Tuesday night and it was around 8:00pm when I strated getting hungry. I had made myself a peanut butter sandwich and had taken about five bites. I looked to my left and the funniest thing happened. At first I thought that I was hallucinating but then I looked again and saw big, shiny, green frogs flying outside my window. Each one was sitting on a round green lilypad. I thought that I must be crazy. I swear one of the frogs waved at me. I think I had too much peanut butter so I went upstairs to bed and hoped that I would feel better in the morning.
The day I woke up but I still had that funny feeling inside about what I had seen the night before. I decided to go to the police station to investigate.
Off I went in my robe and slippers. Once I arrived there I told a police officer my story and surprisingly there had been others reports as well. I was glad that I was not going crazy.
The police officers did not want to investigate further as they had bigger problems. I was really annoyed. Next Tuesday, I will go and investigate!
by Siobhon
http://www.literacyshed.com/

100 Word Challenge

Crackle! Pop! Sizzle! went the fire. The loud bats were flying above their heads, talking in a loud manner that noboby could understand. It was quite warm up there in the mountains. Everybody was camping under the shimmering stars.
There were many families there, all singing, and eating while the kids played in the forest. All of a sudden, the adults stopped. They could hear shrieks of laughter and cries from the young children, in the woods.
Then the temperature dropped suddenly as the bats fell to the ground, dead. Nobody spoke. They were all staring into the forest, waiting to see who or what would come out. Unfortunately the creature was too quick. The families were never seen again.
by Sarah

Soccer is a great game by Conor
The temperature dropped suddenly and the crowd went silent. The best player in the universe stood only 12 metres away from the goals and only 5 metres from the ball. The chilly temperature did not help the tension in the crowd but it did not seem to bother him at all. At this moment he was only a kick away from winning the tournament. He took a deep breath. He started running faster and faster and ….BOOM! The ball was flying through the air. It was a GOAL!!!
The crowd went crazy. The tournament was theirs. The team celebrated their new champion.

SHIVERS
It was a hot summer’s night but I was getting shivers down my spine. I tossed and turned as I felt a cold breath of air across my shoulders. The temperature dropped suddenly as bright lightning bolts struck and loud thunder crashed. I was getting goosebumps from my head to my toes. I put my head under my pillow but the breathing was getting faster. My heart was pounding but then it stopped. I woke up and saw a spider scuttle across the floor. Had it all been a dream? But there it was again. The cold breath blew across my face.
by Amy